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Friday, March 5, 2010

Resentment is useless...the airbag didn't go off when I crashed!!!!I am still working on the fucking Hexastix: I just get pushed around by my "mental" condition sometim

Lately I have been in a special place I like to call "Trance Island." When my medications fail to keep me from having a "Hebe" episode, you will see or read rather about a part of me that is disconnected from this dimension but highly adaptable to planet fucking weirdo. I hate my mental illness, but I remain unresentfuyl. No resentment towards my condition exists inside my fragmented brain because resentment is absolutely useless. Yeah, fuck, so I tell somebody I won a purple bulldog one day, but the next day I say.."Purple bulldog? What are you crazy?" I am pushed around by my "mental" condition sometimes and it makes it hard for me to be consistent. But, damn it, the last book of Hexastix will finally be revealed now that I have been "stabilized." Oh dear! I also have to fucking write a Hexastix For Dummies manuel for clueless, or, rather, "less evolved" individuals. Poor, poor humans.I just get sick of people not getting it sometimes.....most times rather. Grow up! Evolve! Turn off the television and read a book (not Winnie-the pooh). Whateva! And poor,poor, Christopher Robin. I am so glad that pitiable kid is dead. Just Kidding. And if you don't like my sense of humor, I am informed by my greater forces of intellect to tell you to go join the sheep factory like all the others. I don't give a shit!!!! It is a hardship to be esoteric and invisible, but what the fuck ever! That's life Henry!! I find things that are esoteric  fascinating because it's not some beating a dead horse piece of information, what ever the form it comes in (book, a person says something. I am very curious and my illness has provided me not only with severe stress of the body and mind, but the ability to be curious of what I find to be an anomaly. I must say that a being what I am t does not reject (unless it was immoral to that person) , but tries to gain an understanding of the planet so and so comes from  is courageous: it is amazing how many cowards inhabit the earth. I can only take so much cowardice. I abhor cowards and self-pity and being pitied. I detest it!!!! Anyway, this cigarette is particularly great this morning. Why do I smoke? Well, I'm only human. Humans are cursed with one vice or another. Soo, that is all. -You want to know what is truly weird? Good, because I am going to tell you anyway. People....upper-middle class people-like to put books on their shelves and never read them. I thought books were books. I thought books were produced to be read. WTF! Books as decorations make me think the world is a bit crazier than me and meaningless and seeking negative attention.l, AND JUST FLAT OUT STUPID ABOUT IMPRESSING OTHERS. Suburban zombies with housecleaners that they share and gossip about. HOLY FALLEN COWS!!! People can be and are, to me, boring dusty tools. Re-runs of the most horrid movie. Acting-poor. Script-worse. Brains-exempt. If you have certain things one is accepted-  total dolts. What?  That defines most people? How boring! It is a great misfortune I must endure. The boring and stupid. I also have to deal with the nut-cases in the group home I inhabit. I find them to be annoying and I want to yell shut up so loud their eardrums become disabled. Same old shit. Okay, I am done with that tyrade. HA! -Hnery
P.S.-I do not rresent the airbag. Airbags can't help it if they are lazy.

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