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~LEX TALIONIS~

Satura tota nostra est.

Satura tota nostra est.
Satire is all ours.

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Monday, November 2, 2009

HAPPY-JACK-O-ME-HEADLESS-DOUCHEBAG.

 I was an exaggeration of myself for Hallow's Eve. Every Hallow's Eve 1989 to 1995. Cleared out all the good watering holes (the only five on Main St.) ten minutes tops. Art Studio. Evening. "Showing" of Jenson Donnelly's great artistic rip off of the Dada era. His "pieces" all had a main theme: "I am Not An Artist, I live on the prairie." Everyone gone. Five minutes. The mall. Bit longer. Bout' an hour. Exhausting. All those stores. Two-hundred-plus consumers.
Man in food-court: "FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!"
Henry: "IT'S NOTHING MORE THAN HALLOW'S EVE ASSHOLE!!! TAKE SOME FUCKING EXAGGERATION!!!"










Punched in face. Four blows. Balding. Stocky. Ignoramus. Realized he could not ruin my Hallow's Eve. Pain in the ass. Eventually gone with the rest. Half-hour. Nobody. Nobody. Ruins my Hallow's Eve spirits. Not even Johnny Mathis. Not even Casey Sports-Tourette's bore me to death. Away he went from communal living room. Thirty-nine seconds. Vomited on crazy-man Al's snack. Al. Punched me in the face twice. Karate-kicked Casey in chest. White-coats. Here they come. Take Al out with syringe. My exaggeration wished him "HAPPY HALLOW'S EVE!!!" Twenty times tops. Big Dick's Titty Bar, testosterone nightmare, haters of man dancing through clenched teeth, EMPTY,  after my exaggeration passed through door and into the room of hard blockheads. Ten inch heel, medulla oblongata, then, gone in a flash, fifty-one minutes tops, blood on my face and to the "French" Cafe. "Great baguettes!!" "What is that?!!" Undigested food and horror, evacuation, twenty minutes tops (I had to use the bathroom-+ five minutes) hors d'fucking nerves! It's Hallow's Eve!!! Fun times! Starbucks cafe. Five shots of espresso. One latte. Large black. My exaggeration. No money. vacant. Fifteen minutes tops. Trepidating cashier. Too trepidized to dial the men in blue. "HAPPY HALLOW'S FUCKING EVE!!! HOORAY!!! No one rips me off on Hallow's Eve. $7.95 for a large black the size of (see picture). No way!!! You away!! Five more espressos. Two largER cups of black. Peaceful. Solitude. Sirens approach the almost empty cafe. My exagerration. Gone in a flash. "HELLO WALMART!" "HAPPY HALLOW'S EVE!!!" "ALL YOU GRACIOUS WHITE FOLK!!" Segregation is not extinct, trust me. "HOLY SHIT PRICK!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!"-some anglo-saxon. Confusion. Up and around the gimcrackin' aisles, forty minutes tops. My face, already battered, white man with surprising common sense, how to beat the battered? Would it make a difference? Hotel de Rich. Bejewelled fops. "Money spreads germs, don't you see!!!" Multiple misers. Faces knotted in disgust. Hotel de Rich. Deserted. Fifty minutes tops (busy night, lots of call-girls and married men searching in desperation for their clothes, not the call-girls though, they had the balls, quickly they exited, no tops). The Scene as well. Fetish ball. Hallow's Eve fiesta. Goth kids. Very serious. Lugubrious, the azure sky only brings me pain. Concerned. Low-threshold for the pure wickedness of my exaggeration. Startled cult of the space vampire. Disappear into the black night. Twenty-six minutes tops. Punk rock night at Lou Phlegm's. 'Bout forty-five mo-hawks. Chains. Spikes. Hallow's Eve. Shameful posers.  Received one blow from chip-on-shoulder-punker-pretense. "Take my blood, it's free!! All of it!!! Boo!! Boo!!! You can blow me all night!!!" Seventeen minutes tops. Goodbye. Punk is dead? Souns morbid. Kind of like HALLOW'S EVE!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! My exagerration with swampy blood eyes retires. Back to the cave. The bats there waiting with dinner. HAPPY-JACK-O-ME-HEADLESS-DOUCHEBAG!!!!! You never know when the gooneyman shall appear on Hallow's Eve. Oh dear.
Lex talionis,

Henry Thee O'Malley x 2,000

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