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~LEX TALIONIS~

Satura tota nostra est.

Satura tota nostra est.
Satire is all ours.

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To stop developing, growing, progressing, or advancing.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

I am Scatology: ...On Major Depression...

I am Scatology: ...On Major Depression...

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HECK-SA-STIX PART V

Yep. It has been a long, long, time since I have been able to coherently join my words and form a complete sentence. HECK!!!! It is a bitch!!! Thank you Clorazil. I do not remember much of what has taken place in my life over the past month and, say, one week. Who cares right?! I certainly do not. I take an apathy pill every morning and transform: human to Vulcan...you know like that Spock guy. Highly Illogical!!!!! And because I have been off the subject (Hexastix) for so long you ALL probably do not even remember what this shit is all about that I am going to abruptly continue as if I never went AWOL. A wall. I was staring at a wall for more than five days. And I know no one gives a shit and most of you have no idea what I am so gabbing on about, but I can assure you "HEXASTIX FOR DUMMIES" shall be published shortly after. I personally enjoy accommodating. To hell with annotations!!! They cause attention-deficit-disorder. I was working so hard I forgot to take my medication and IFRANKMASTER almost rolled around the bend of my brain faster than a speeding speed freak superman fuck tweak! But, alas, no. I am Henry. And I want you to know, invisible audience, EXACTLY what I WENT THROUGH to obtain the information I needed to gain information on Hexastix-book V. It was fucking hell and damnation! Jesus yippity Christ Christmas! Well, FUCK!!! I will just lay it on the table for you all so you can not appreciate it! I work for myself. What more can I expect? Exactly. Highly illogical to expect any more. Maybe, if you can spare an eyeball or two, just go back over the previous books to set the mood for my revelations. KEEP IN MIND: this is only what I WENT THROUGH to obtain the information and not the information itself. That is a whole different story. These stories must be told separately (and without neologisms) because they are too significant to lump together. Highly illogical-that lumping together.
                                                        HEXASTIX: BOOK V- THE TOIL.

Book V-"The Justice Sticks"
Very complicated this one.
Here is a short summary of what is to come: There comes a time, once, maybe even twice upon a time, that, unfortunately, we, the stick-people and believers, must defend ourselves physically. Keep in mind, we do not believe in steroids....that is cheating. Unchivalrous. Oops, a neologism, excuse me. ATTENTION!!!! And mind you we are not pushovers and dare not  turn the other cheek so that the perpetrator can pound it to a pulp. Highly illogical. That is just pure stupidity and, might I add, masochism. Suffer thee children!!! NO!!! ATTENTION!! We do not play that foolish game of Mr. Martyr Pants. Peh. Anyhow, there exist such ignoramuses that allow prejudice and intolerance of diversity to rule their testosterone or progesterone levels, thus causing a phenomena commonly known as an "ANGRY MOB" a.k.a. "HIGHLY ILLOGICAL SHIT FOR BRAINS POSSE." I will not apologize for self-defense when it is absolutely necessary. We are just as good at playing Romans and Spartans on steroids as any poor fool. Anyhow. Five steps. I had to complete these grueling tasks in order to attain the (privilege) information necessary for me to explicate "The Justice Sticks." And on I go. Pacifist idiots ideologically crippled AWAY! None of you would understand. Go find something better to do than complain about "necessary" self-defense-like go get your asses ripped to shreds by blockheads. AH-HA!
Task one: 
"Have Gun Will Travel reads the card of a (wo)man.
A knight without armor in a savage land.

His/her fast gun for hire head's the calling wind.
A soldier of fortune is the man called Paladin and/or the Noble Women of Tortosa in Aragon.

Paladin, Noble Women, Paladin, Noble Women,
Where do you roam?
Paladin,Noble Women, Paladin, Noble Women, 
Far, far from home."

Keep this little ditty in mind when shoppin' for knowledge my brethren and sistern.


TASK ONE: I must defeat the ghost of Kontesteronia (Greek Goddess of chess and, of course, a believer) at her own area of expertise. No joke. I had to outwit her. Twenty hours of exhausting intellect. But, to my good luck Hades decided to show up and "BOO" her, heckle her into a fit of rage so great as to infiltrate her mastery, her guard down for a split second and I took advantage of it with a double rook sacrifice. "I Won." I said. "It is amazing what powers medication gives to you commoners." said Kontesteronia. And off she went throwing boulders at Hades as he cackled down a hole in the ground. They were gone. I had completed the first task. Success!
TASK TWO: Convince American Republican Congressman Tancredo that he is Gloria Steinem. By Jiminy! What hardship!!! It was great though! All I had to do was take out a rifle and say "Let us take back America and drink ten shots of jack!" and he was all ears! I never actually drank Jack. I drank tainted water. He got the alcohol though, boy he did! Passed out American Republican Congressman Tancredo went from this:  
                                                                  Oh No Tancredo!!!!

to this:

in no time. When he came to I said "Hey Pal-take-back-America you sure is lookin' fine teeday!" I simply handed him a mirror. When he saw Gloria reflect back at him he vomited, pissed his pants, and shouted "I, Gloria Steinem, guh, guh, No! What! Hell! Get out!! Oh Lord, My Father!!!!" He then passed out. It was an awful experience for him I will admit, but I must add that he is very insecure without his face and that just doesn't reek of bravery to me. Task Accomplished!
TASK THREE: My hands certainly suffered from this one. I had to "hand-write" 25,000 letters to the United States Federal Government to inform them that there are in fact many of us "down here" that KNOW "our" country is not a true democracy. We know that it is in fact a Monarchy under the guise of a Democracy and that The Senate should be properly renamed "Maniacs," The President "Father Herod," and that those "ruling" this country like to pretend they are Romans. Yes, the little Roman games they play like homosexual tigers batting at mice....usurpers, pretenses, cough, cough. We live in a poorly disguised caste system and slavery has not, in fact, been abolished, but is still quite alive and all around us. WE KNOW. WE WATCH YOU TOO. BIG SISTER SEES ALL, HEARS ALL AND IS MUCH MORE CLEVER THAN YOUR BIG BROTHER. You like us to abide by the delusion  "land of the free, home of the brave." Some big comic book, video game charade in which the hero wields a great big weapon and kills the most bad guys. I have to hand it to mankind: the side that has the most murdered human beings wins-brilliant!!! This really solves every problem I could ever think of. Never-mind using our brains.....listen to the almighty male hormone...KILL...KILL...YOU WRONG ME RIGHT KILL...KILL. All so very highly logical concepts. We also know that that separation of church and state thing was a pretty silly game of make believe too...you sneaky critters you! The U.S.A. is a mental illness, what? I thought I just heard a bird. Lovely.
Yours free of charge,

                                                                            Caligula.
TASK FOUR: Re-arrange Stonehenge. Just great. What am I? Fucking Atlas? Okay. Keep it cool. After all, I've accomplished some heavy duty tasks...by all means...I pulled them off with, one might say, finesse. So, Stonehenge, no big deal, just a lot of feng shui shit and manipulation of stone.....muscle. English County, Wilshire....I hitched rides with several unbearable clap-trappers. Goodbye. This is my stop. Ah, Stonehenge. Very mysterious. Just never, ever, tell me I have to go to London. New York ten times worse. Metro-bots everywhere. So cool to live in the cit-tay! Yes. Yes. Well, anyhow, not only do I have to re-arrange stonehenge, but I have to make a pillar or whatever those stone extraterrestrial "mysteries" are called out of Tony Blair's face!!!! WTF!!! And that is not all-I have to get the symbol of Justice to fit in between the pillars, stones, whatnot as well!!! Tough I tell you. Tough.

Just take a look here and tell me I am one hell of a crafty man! Once I got started though, I could not stop! I even paid homage to the Queen with a special propaganda message included for the good not just of England alone, but the whole World!!! Success!!!

TASK FIVE: Still alive. Ha ha ha ha. Task five was really, thankfully, a breeze. I love to ask people questions. It is kind of funny how people do not really feel comfortable answering questions. The truth of the matter is, I am afraid, that they will not know the answer. They feel embarrassed..perhaps. Anyhow, my final task was quite simple: I had to ask twenty-three common folk if they believe in God and why. I even went out of my way to shake their hands without condescension ( of course, all I could think of was scrubbing my hands afterward in boiling water with a heavy anti-bacterial product). Did you ever see God? Is God sexless? When you think of God do you imagine a man or a woman? Maybe even some kind of amorphous entity? Why do you think it is that you think such of God? After probing about a bit I had to give them the drill. I had to ask them "Have you ever seen the Stick-people?" and "Have you ever seen God?" alternately exactly ten times before I thanked them for their time. Some were a bit shaken I have to admit, but that usually happens when one does not think much about much and is suddenly asked to use the old upper-story. Some even dared look at me like I was a raving lunatic. But, really if you think about the question, it really is quite reasonable and, if you are lucky you will learn from that question. I personally think it should be the prerequisite before entering secondary or high school. I will be back with the knowledge of The Justice Sticks. I have to go smoke a pack of cigarettes now. Statistically schizophrenics are known to smoke compulsively. I am but a tiny speck of that statistic. Good day.
Lex Talionis,
Henry O'Malley
.

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Friday, November 6, 2009

Lex Talionis: CLICK FOR MORE INFO RIGHT NOW.

Lex Talionis: CLICK FOR MORE INFO RIGHT NOW.

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               "Everything I need  to  know was taught to me by my 
                                             TOILET."
Lex Talionis,

Henry O’Malley

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Hexastix: Book IV-A Review Before the Final Book

Book IV of the Hexastix
Book IV: The Book Of Plastic Sticks


If any of you folks out there have been paying attention to the messages in “O’Say What Is Gross,” you may find a semblance of similarity in the message of book IV of the Hexastix.  The Book of Plastic Sticks basically serves as a warning regarding false prophets or anyone claiming to be an “expert.” It is an anomaly that people these days rely heavily on the supposed knowledge of such “experts’ and that most of the time the “expert” does not have to have any credentials and if he or she does, this does not mean that they know any better about anything than anyone else. In modern society you may be watching a commercial about such and such product and a voice in the commercial says something like “….highly recommended by experts.” Or a book review listing in the New York Times claims that a book deserve praise when, in fact, it is a piece of shit. Or the movie critics (a.k.a. experts) tell you a movie is “The best film of the year” when, in fact, it may possibly be the worst film of the year. Yes, false prophets are everywhere these days. The scary thing is that people actually consume whatever lies
these so called “experts” tell them to and take their (the experts) word as the word of God, and, as some of us of higher intelligence know, God is a fictitious and invisible myth just like the experts. Anyhow, The Book of Plastic Sticks was written in 1855, the year Alexander Parkes officially invented plastic. It is hidden south of the equator and its hiding place is, of course, only known to the stick-people and their believers. When The Book of Plastic Sticks is held up to the light of a full moon the words are etched into the plastic and read thus:
There exist such entities in the world that claim and give forth false knowledge. Beware of them. If someone or something implies that you are a subordinate and that someone or something claims to be more knowledgeable than you on a certain subject use your gift of skepticism. These false prophets may be trying to trick you into giving them or some other affiliated party your money and they may also ruthlessly cause you to waste your time. Remember that opinions or perceptions coming from one who claims to be an “expert” is simply an opinion or perception and does not have to become your own: you have your own opinions and perceptions and should never mold them according to  someone else’s standards. Heed this warning well!!! There are false messages all around you!! For example, one, usually a female, may be told that she should not look like a female, but that she should go on something called “a diet” and look like a little boy. This is false!!! Women are supposed to eat well and look like women: voluptuous and curvy. Eating healthy and within certain boundaries (not over-eating or eating too much “junk) has been replaced by excessive fad diets that are most unhealthy. Most diet “experts” are lunatics and/or misogynists.
The source of a prophecy must also be questioned. Just because it has a wide variety of followers that buy into its nonsense does not make it a good source of information. For Americans, The New York Times is a good example. A highly esteemed piece of crap is what it really is. Did you ever read their book review? Utter nonsense!!! Don’t let them tell you! The Museum of Modern art has a shit ton of crap that passes for what we call “art.” Jackson Pollock? Abstract expressionist?! True fucking tripe!!!

                           Grab some paint and throw it at a wall….yeah! That’s art man!!! How utterly awful! The Museum of Modern Art is a false prophet: Don’t believe a thing you see. Only on occasion does it offer quality, but rarely. Be careful what you believe and always, always, question! Question! Question! We were born with brains, were we not? Our society hates when we use our brains and so it invents things to control us. Some of this is “old-story” to some of you, but there are those poor souls out there that need to be told they are being manipulated and lied to!!!! Take that asshole John Edwards supposed “psychic-medium.” He makes a killing lying to gullible people! He should be assassinated (I did not say this) or executed! He is no expert and is no prophet…this is what he is: A BIG LYING SCUMBAG THAT LAUGHS AT ALL THE REJECTS THAT BELIEVE HIS LIES AND SPEND TONS OF MONEY TO HEAR WHAT HE HAS TO SAY OR RATHER HEAR WHAT THEIR DEAD RELATIVE HAS TO SAY THROUGH HIM WHICH IS CLEARLY (TO SOME OF INTELLIGENCE) IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!! plastic
Plastic here refers to that which has been chemically modified by man to suit some devious purpose. And don’t forget about Los Angeles…many plastic people live there….beware of them…a whole plastic community!!! Cosmetic plastic surgeons….mostly misogynistic highly paid bastards or lying bastardettes that prey on people’s (mostly women) low self-esteem. Beware false prophets, beware of the lies, look at the man behind the curtain…..he’s terrified….he is a FRAUD!
End of Book IV of the Hexastix. Valuable information. Be smart and make the choice today to believe in the stick-people and their believers. They are the only entities that carry the truth as it should be. Listen to them.
Good Day,
Henry O’Malley
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Wednesday, November 4, 2009

You Seen God lately? I seen the Stick-People. What Is The Difference?

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Hexastix: Book III

The AIGA symbol for drinking fountainImage via Wikipedia
Third book of Hexastix: The Book of Bioluminescent Sticks
-Book # III- The Bioluminescent STICKS
glow
The third book of the Hexastix can only be read in the sky at night on a certain date and is, in fact, like a constellation. The International Astronomical Union does not acknowledge this constellation-like pattern because, sadly, no members of this union are stick-people or believers. What is particularly interesting about this pattern is that is can be seen from all hemispheres as opposed to being limited to only one hemisphere like the 88 “official” constellations; because it has no boundaries it is not considered a constellation.  The date in which it can be seen is October the 31rst. The pattern can be seen in the form of four paragraphs that fill the entire night sky. The message is as follows:
If you can see this document you are either a stick-person or a believer in stick-people. There is no such thing as life after death. Beware this myth! To protect yourself from myth-makers and to become immune to their tall tales you must submerge your head in your own urine for thirty seconds. Warning: if you do not do this you will most likely succumb to the great lies of the world and perish as a delusionist. This is, by far, the most disgusting way to perish.
To your right you will see four bioluminescent sticks. Use these sticks to distinguish what is true and what is false. Wave them before people, documents, etcetera: they will cease to glow before all that is false. These sticks will expire on October the 30th; you will receive your new set of bioluminescent sticks on October the 31rst. If you are questioned when waving the sticks simply state “I am conducting scientific research” and that should be sufficient explanation for the curious. If the curious demand further explanations tell the curious “I require complete silence while conducting my scientific research.”
If the bioluminescent sticks indicate falsehood do not point your finger or draw attention to the falsehood. Acknowledge the falsehood silently and act as if it does not exist. If you openly declare a falsehood you run the risk of public estrangement, confinement to an undesirable area, or execution. Take it upon yourself to heed the words of this book. The general public lacks the ability to think rationally and may react violently to your claim. Beware.
I must inform you straight away that the ideas of “original sin” and “holiness” are falsehoods. Heed these ideas not, for they are lies. Beware of individuals and documents that perceive these ideas to be true. Only delusionists believe lies and spread myths. You don’t want to be a delusionist do you? “Original sin” and “holiness” are two myths that exist for the sole purpose of controlling and disrupting your natural thought process and actions to suit the outfit of lunacy. Many are the delusionists. *Quality not quantity*
And so the third book of the Hexastix ends. It makes perfect sense. Unfortunately, nonsense gets the upper hand in life. I prefer perfect sense to nonsense. I am no delusionist.
Regards,
Henry O’Malley
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